Instead of asking, “Do they like me?” ask, “Do I like how I feel when I’m with them?” Instead of performing, observe. Watch how they treat waitstaff. Notice if they interrupt you. See if they are actually curious or just waiting for their turn to speak.

Put down the script. Walk off the set. The real world doesn’t need a soundtrack. And neither do you.

If your life feels boring without a romance, that is a sign that you have outsourced your emotional regulation to a plot device. A calm Tuesday night cooking dinner for yourself is not a failure. A weekend with no texts from a crush is not a tragedy. It is peace.

When you stop auditioning, you stop investing emotional energy into strangers. You realize that most people are not your co-stars; they are just people. Letting go of romantic storylines feels like a death. You have to mourn the version of your life where you are the protagonist of a great love story. That fantasy kept you warm on lonely nights.

If you stop doing relationships as a plot device, you free yourself to actually be in one—or not. You free yourself to have friendships that are as deep as any love affair. You free yourself to pursue work that consumes you. You free yourself to be alone without being lonely.