The split lived in her sternum.
It sounds like you’re exploring a powerful and provocative tension: the contradiction between being (agentic, self-determining, critical) and being trained to be an object (passive, decorative, existing for the gaze of others). The unfinished word “mi…” could point to several directions—“mind,” “mirror,” “misogyny,” or “misfit.”
Ballet class at four, knees corrected, chin lifted. “Tuck your pelvis. Smile like you mean it.” Piano recitals where the applause was for how she looked in the velvet dress, not the missed B-flat. Modeling workshops in high school: Walk like you’re giving a gift. Don’t take up space—glide through it. Every etiquette lesson, every “just try to be prettier, quieter, more helpful.”